Official incident logging for minor physical and social fumbles. Every oop is filed. None are forgotten.
The Bureau of Minor Incidents exists to formally log every bump, trip, mumble, and mistimed "you too" that would otherwise go unrecorded. Press OOP, and the incident becomes a matter of permanent record.
Each filing generates its own case number, its own classification of Severity, Affected Area, Recovery Time, and Witness Credibility, and its own irreversible addition to your Oops Logged.
Severity, Affected Area, Recovery Time, and Witness Credibility are assigned independently for every incident, without regard to how minor the fumble actually was or whether anyone was paying attention.
The Bureau Concern Level rises with every filing and has never once gone down. This is not a bug. This is the entire methodology.
Visitors who log ten or more incidents are formally reclassified as Repeat Offenders. This status confers no privileges and cannot be appealed.
The Bureau is, frankly, not surprised.
Corrections may be requested by pressing OOP again. The Bureau will consider the correction exactly as seriously as the original filing, which is to say, not at all.
The Certified Oop Logger is provided for entertainment purposes only. No incidents were independently verified, no anatomy was examined, and no witnesses were actually consulted.